“An Invisible Injury: Intrapersonal Experiences of Adults Discovering Misattributed Paternity” by Cerfontyne, D’Souza & Patlamazoglou (2025) - Research Article
- Alyona (Aly) Cerfontyne
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
Imagine waking up one day and discovering that your dad—the man you thought was your biological father your entire life—isn’t related to you by blood. That’s the reality for a growing number of adults around the world, especially with the rise of at-home DNA tests.
This research study dives deep into how people feel, think, and cope when they uncover this life-altering truth—often completely by accident.
ABOUT THE STUDY:
The study involved 13 women, mostly from the U.S., who discovered their misattributed paternity in adulthood. The average age at discovery? 45 years old.
Their stories were analysed to understand the internal, personal impact of the discovery—what it does to someone’s emotions, identity, sense of family, and overall wellbeing.
KEY FINDINGS:
The study identified five major themes:
A Complex Emotional Journey
Participants described the discovery as shocking, traumatic, and deeply disorienting. Some compared it to being diagnosed with cancer or living through a sudden death. Emotions ranged from shock, grief, and anger, to curiosity and even hope.
When I first realised that he wasn’t my father … , I went through a lot of different emotions. I was really upset … I was hurt and upset and everything. Then I got a little angry. I was angry at my dad. Why were you running around on Mom? Why couldn’t you be my dad? … So why aren’t you my father? … And then I got to … Maybe this will be really cool. Maybe I’m kin to some folks from my hometown that are friends of mine. This would be fun. I love getting to know people. So, I went through a series of roller-coaster emotions and, you know, got to the acceptance and everything. —SANDIE
A New Perspective on the Past
Many revisited past questions—Why don’t I look like my dad? Why did I feel so different?—and suddenly, things began to make sense. They could now explain family tensions, physical differences, or unanswered questions from childhood.
Every once in a while, I’d have these thoughts. Like, how? How did I get him for a dad? … No, appearance-wise, you would never know. … We were close enough that it wasn’t obvious, just personality, just at the core of who we are. We’re just so different. —DEBBIE
Identity Reorganisation
Finding out their genetic truth forced participants to re-evaluate who they are—including their ethnicity, medical history, and sense of belonging. While some experienced a full-blown identity crisis, others described it more as a deep shift or expansion of self.
“It changes everything, but it changes nothing.” —ANNA
Searching for the Truth
Almost everyone felt a burning need to know who their biological father was and how they came into the world. The search often became emotionally consuming—hours spent on ancestry sites, family trees, and even hiring professionals. But the truth wasn’t always easy (or even possible) to find.
It’s incredibly healing to anyone. … When you find out who your parent was and you missed the entire parent experience with them. I think it’s incredibly vital that you allow the person to ask any mundane [questions]. Every shred of information is precious to them. —KRISTAL
Timing Matters
When you find out can make a huge difference. For older participants, the truth brought more pain than healing—especially if the biological parent had already died or could never be known.
I’ve had a long life already and every single thing about it. I wouldn’t have had a clue. … It’s a pain that I wish I had never been told. … I know it’s the truth. And I’ve seen lots of comments on the Facebook groups about the truth is always the best thing and honesty is the best policy. And I thought, ‘Maybe not at my age’. —Rita
Why This Study Matters
This is the first study to deeply explore the inner world of adults discovering misattributed paternity—not just the facts, but the emotional and identity-level consequences.
It suggests that these discoveries can cause:
Identity disruption
Grief and trauma
Difficulty accessing emotional support
A deep longing for truth and connection
It also highlights the lack of professional awareness and support, and urges us to view these experiences as a form of identity trauma—something deserving care, understanding, and specialist help.
What Needs to Change?
We need:
Greater public and professional awareness
Tailored mental health support and counselling
Compassionate medical responses (e.g., when updating family history)
More research on how different age groups, genders, and cultures experience misattributed paternity
Final Thought
Misattributed paternity is not just a family secret—it’s a deeply personal discovery that can upend someone’s sense of self. For those affected, it’s often an invisible injury—not obvious to others, but deeply felt, and lifelong in its impact.
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